Exponential submissions means exponential rejections. Heard back from a couple, including my magazine internship. In response, I'm diving my head into more creation and submissions. If I don't resurface on Monday, it's because my Outbox tumbled over and crushed me with its weight...
Until then!
Right now:
What I'm listening to: "Crawl" by Chris Brown
What I want most: acceptance (v~_~)
I've had a growing suspicion about myself, and tonight I have confirmed my discovery.
I am not a poet's poet. In fact, I'm rather like a cat, that bristles at the approach of another. There's internal hissing and spitting involved, and believe me, it ain't pretty.
I'm rather ashamed of my jealousy and envy, especially in light of my work with critINK. For some reason, I can function perfectly well in that setting, but stick me in classroom and things go BOOM.
I love editing. I really do. I love working with other writers, and I love peer review. I love the whole philosophy of critINK, which is that social interaction- feedback, collective brainstorming, and general discussion- aids the entire creative writing process. I firmly believe that the idea of the solitary writer stuck in an attic is a detrimental stereotype- not only to the public perception of writing, but also to the insiders idea of how writers should act. Writing is not a secret society or a monastery- it has no rituals, regulations, or universals. Writing is an expression of the individual, and like each individual is unique.
Regardless of my conviction, and regardless of my better judgment, I still become crippled in the presence of other writers. I probably battle most with insecurity. I didn't take myself seriously as a writer for a long time, and those ingrained habits are hard to beat out of yourself. So encountering another writer who is serious and ambitious about his/her craft, especially one achieving milestones like publication younger than I did, sends me into a primal sort of temper tantrum. I should look to them as examples, as models, but instead I go off in a green cloud.
I am motivated by these people, but in a "I'll show you" way. It's the wrong sort of motivation, even if it does get the results I need. I can only hope that I will slowly mature into the type of professional that can accept other writers' success.
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga
What I want most: chips and salsa
I got The Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can see the final essay that I turned in over at my website, as well. It must be due to all your help that I got the job, so thank you everyone, for the support and the comments!
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: Simon and Garfunkel "Cloudy"
What I want most: Nothing. I got the job!
I've been thinking long and hard about having my revenge, and what to do about it all-- getting out there, getting known, getting better so I can get published. I've basically devoted the summer to this, as I'm taking a single creative writing class this summer session. Which means I have a lot of time to think about writer-y things. A lot of time to write, which instead I spend browsing online or reading books. To be fair, it's writer-y procrastination-- online writing communities, author's blog, books on editing and publishing and "building a platform." Yes, I'm really reading a book like that. But still there's something missing.
The refrain running through my head is "stepping up your game."
So, today, it hit me. Conferences.
I've never been to a writer's conference, although I've poured over the advertisements in Writer's Digest and other magazines since the day I first bought them. I really wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise one, that featured an author I enjoyed, but my parents turned me down. I think I might have been 15 or 16 at the time, and I couldn't really travel on my own. Sigh. I'm still mourning that one (*a moment of silence for the dearly departed moment...*)
I hear conferences talked about all the time in other author's blogs. I think, "huh, that's really cool, I wish I could do that." But I never really thought why I couldn't. I just couldn't. And so now, I'm changing that. My limitations are only the ones that I set on myself.
I'm searching for a conference, not too long, maybe a day or two, that will still let me in at this late date. Hopefully, in So. Cal area. I'm even willing to go to Vegas or San Fran, but would like to keep within driving distance. Anybody know of something good?
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: Norah Jones " Those Sweet Words"
What I want most: More summer. I have too many things to do.
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