I've been missing fiction.
It's been quite a while since I sat down to write fiction, probably not since early December (and it was a class assignment, so while I had fun, I was still in a way constrained. So maybe it doesn't count in the first place). I find that I am missing fiction.
I enjoy poetry, I really do. I'm happy that I'm really building up my portfolio and my resumme with all the poetry that I'm writing and sending out. But...
Poetry is also distilled. Very, very distilled language. And sometimes you need a little bit of wiggle room, you know?
The other night I was ready to crash at 10:30 pm. I even, heaven forbid, went so far as to turn off the lights and pull the covers up and snuggle into my pillow.
Madame Mocking Muse halted all that.
She came, as my eyes were drifting shut and my mind gently becoming fuzzier with a full story- WHAM!
I was bright-eyed and scribbling furiously with a pen clenched in my hand and a flashlight clenched in between my teeth. My roommate, the Long-Suffering One, laughed deriously at me for having "been exhausted just a minute ago." I'm afraid I might have ignored her, for I was writing fiction.
A short story, in full Sherwood Anderson style (perhaps because I had an essay on Anderson due mere hours later, and my brain, no longer willing to deal with Anderson academically, decided to exocise him through another means). It's very obviously Sherwood Anderson's voice- I do not tend towards minimalist style. I like my clasues too much (if you, perhaps, had not already gleaned that for yourself).
I'm thinking of finishing it up over spring break and submitting it to the campus magazine. I'm tired of submitting poetry, and would like a short story published someday soon.
Here's to crossed fingers!
Right now:
What I'm listening to: "Move for You" by Metric
What I want most: food!!! om nom nom.
There are just some people out there that I want to slap for being stupid, narrow-minded, shallow idiots. Therefore, somewhere in the world, someone is just itching to slap me. So can one actively pursue mind-broadening experiences? And how?
We always talk of travel as a life changing opportunity. Sometimes we add in community serevice, or reading, or those big ones like marriage and kids and baptism and moving. But can you find something daily to so to make your mind broader by topics, not events?
I speak mainly of course of the needs of a writer, that class of people that need to draw on a cast collections of various and random inspirations. And I need an accepting mind to acquire all that I can/ Not to say that a writer can't make judgements, but all reconnaissnace should be objective, even if the final report is partial.
So how does one achieve this? And is there any possibility for an answer?
Sometimes I regret that I can't write a better book because I don't have the wisedom and experience of age. So I try to actively pursue those qualities ahead of my time. But I don't really know what steps I should take, or that I succeed.
So I guess I'll just keep plogging, and blogging, my way to a final sort of approximation.
Over and out.
Right now:
Where I am located: in an apartment in Burlad, Romania
What I am listening to: "Change" by Puya
In my Life Writing class one day, a girl shared a powerful piece that impressed and moved us all. When questioned, she said that to get the emotion out on the page, she literally had to get away. She drove until she could drive no more, found the first (decent I presume) hotel, and checked in for the weekend. Just to write.
That example resonates so powerfully with me at times. Sometimes the idea of just driving and driving until the road chases me has the strongest appeal. I try to leave campus occasionally, try to get out of my dorm and my school life and my head full of academia, but going to the local Barnes and Nobles or Starbucks doesn't always have the same effect as a total escape. Today I'm almost regretting that I didn't have more time in Atlanta so that I could have written in the hotel room, but between exhaustion and travel stress I slept the whole time. And it was wonderful, filled with white fluffy down dreams.
My trip to Romania is one where I could arrange to weekend out to Bucharest or to a nieghboring country, but I am tempted to ignore that siren call. THis is a service trip, not a vacation, and while treating myself with nex cities wouldn't be a crime, the whole tenure of this trip is more reflective, more sedate. So spending the entiere weekend holed up in some corner fo the hotel writing would not be a bad thing either. Treating my trip to Romnain as a mini writing retreat would not be a bad thing.
Plus, it's just buggerly cold. Do I really want to be sight-seeing in 20 degree weather?
Right now:
Where I am located: Charles de Gaulle airport
What I want most: coffee and a croissant.
I debated between calling it the Vortex and the Black Hole, but since I've been saying the Vortex around my roomie The Long-Suffering One, the name kinda stuck.
Oh, what am I talking about?
I'm talking about FanStory.com, my newest obsession and writerly procrastination tool.
It's a web service (yes, unfortunately you have to pay for it; will discuss this later in the post) that provides a site to post your written works (of any kind) and get reviews on what you've posted by other members.
It's a fairly easy interface to use, although the certificate system is a little confusing. I still don't really understand that myself, so I won't confuse you with my half-assertions.
The basic premise is that you earn "money" by reviewing other members' work, for such-and-such value (based on rankings among other posted works of a similar genre) and then use that money to promote your own work (by buying advertisements, and buying a higher ranking for greater visibility.)
I've used Fanstory.com for about 3 weeks now, and I do like it. I feel that it was false advertisement for the member fee- they say it's 2.90 a month, but you have to pay in a lump sum fee of $67 for two years. So I don't like that of course- I took the option of a month membership for 6.95. Which is a little exorbitant, so I'm not sure that I'll renew next month, but we'll see.
The biggest benefit is the forced review of other members. Being able to to recognize the issues in other's work allows to you to be a better self-editor as well. Of course, emotional distance is always the kicker, but getting some of the experience on fanstory.com does help.
So in conclusion, I would say at least go and check out the website. There's a one week free trial (that I didn't take advantage of, unfortunately) that you can use to poke around a while.
And if you need a reason to avoid work without feeling guilty, well then....
=)
Right now:
What I want most: food!!!
What I'm listening to: n/a
Happy Tuesday everyone!
First, a shiny shiny to enjoy. I found a HMTL add-in from Crit Partner Match, and I thought that I would display it for all to see. Please enjoy, and come visit me!
Visit Crit Partner Match
Today I thought I would share a few photos of things that I would love to buy to stock my hypothetical dream writing room. I don't have one yet, but the dream emerging is quite
beautiful.
Anyways, for the comfy couch, I would add these pillows to lean against when I am reading and surfing the web. I love the writing nature behind both, especially the post-card one. I love stationary and mail and writing and everything associated with these pillows.
I would love to decorated the entirity of my house around literarty themes, with old postcards and rescued typewriters and letters painted on the walls, such as in this photo:
I love that it is a definition wall that is the focal piece in the room. I would choose something else for my hypothetical writing room, or course, maybe something incouraging like persitance.
No, that would just make me more frustrated, actually. So maybe I should choose "apoplexy" instead. (*snicker*)
Anyways, years ago when I read Little Women by Lousia May Alcott for the first time, I loved the idea of Jo's writing hat. (Or was it a smock? Now I'm not so sure. It's been a while since I've 
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
What I want most: Chapstick
Well... good news, I entered the ROD contest for this month.
Bad news, I forgot about the time change, and I got it in by midnight east coast, but the comment popped up in mountain. Which meant I had a whole 'nother hour to tweek with the stupid thing! Sigh. (*headdesk*)
That is rapidly becoming something like a personal motto. Can I get it copyrighted?
Anyways, I'm rather proud that I got anything in. I was looking at the picture the entire week leading up to the deadline, but nothing was coming in from the Muse. I think she went on vacation but forgot to leave a notice on the office door. Anyways, I was frustrated by the girl's expression. I found it totally blank, and I couldn't figure out why. There was no determination, no anger, no pain, nothing... It was an emotional blank screen. Not even her eyes seemed to see anything.
Then I was listening to Alkaline Trio one night, and the lyrics seemed to jump right up at me.
"The Poison"
It's not just a pain
A pain in my back
That laughs in my face
My face every night all the poison that took my lungs
That keeps me from feeling warm
But how could a rooftop view in London
Look just the same as one in Brooklyn?
Nothing has changed but now I fight with the words
And I can't see so good
And there's gotta be more
Much more than this
I got pages of dreams they're covered in piss
And a poison that took my soul
It keeps me from feeling anything
And how could a rooftop view in London
Look just the same as one in Brooklyn?
Nothing has changed but now I fight with the words
And I can't see so good
And now I fight with the words
And now I fight with the words
Now I fight with the words
And how could a rooftop view in London
Look just the same as one in Brooklyn?
Nothing has changed but now I fight with the words
And I can't see so good
And I can't see so good (I can't see so good)
And I can't see so good (I can't see so good)
And I can't see so good
And the Muse popped up from somewhere, and said, "She's blind!"
What I tried to do was show that the main character was blind without outright coming out and saying it, but I'm not sure if I achieved that. Perhaps if I had that extra hour...lol. Anyways, please comment and tell me what you think! And enjoy my ROD entry!
***
"You came."
The words, harsh and unforgiving, came from the woman's left. She continued further into the room, staring blankly forward, as rage hung heavy and red against her skin.
"Do you know why I called you here?" the voice hissed.
No emotion passed across the woman's expression. Her eternal face was undisturbed by lines around the eyes.
"You betrayed us." A man emerged out into the open through loud footsteps against the floor. "It's not just that you stabbed me behind my back! It's not just that! It's that you betrayed us- all of us! We worked for you-- and you left, you bitch! You left-- and for what? Some kind of peace? It doesn't exist!"
"I couldn't fight anymore. Now I fight with words." Her words were low, sliding gently into space.
She heard his rushing staccato steps."You could have stayed! You could have helped us! And you left anyways."
"What could I do?" The woman did not look around at his nearness. "Exactly. You know that I had no other choice."
"Bah! You're not fighting. You're running away. Afraid."
"No. Never," she said, and her voice was tinted with something like regret.
"It doesn't matter! I could have killed you on that rooftop in London! Just the same in Brooklyn! But it's got to be this way! I will have revenge on you."
He slashed fiercely at tender flesh. The woman pressed a hand to her upper arm, but continued to stare sightlessly forward as the blade descended again.
***
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: TV
What I want most:
I've been thinking long and hard about having my revenge, and what to do about it all-- getting out there, getting known, getting better so I can get published. I've basically devoted the summer to this, as I'm taking a single creative writing class this summer session. Which means I have a lot of time to think about writer-y things. A lot of time to write, which instead I spend browsing online or reading books. To be fair, it's writer-y procrastination-- online writing communities, author's blog, books on editing and publishing and "building a platform." Yes, I'm really reading a book like that. But still there's something missing.
The refrain running through my head is "stepping up your game."
So, today, it hit me. Conferences.
I've never been to a writer's conference, although I've poured over the advertisements in Writer's Digest and other magazines since the day I first bought them. I really wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise one, that featured an author I enjoyed, but my parents turned me down. I think I might have been 15 or 16 at the time, and I couldn't really travel on my own. Sigh. I'm still mourning that one (*a moment of silence for the dearly departed moment...*)
I hear conferences talked about all the time in other author's blogs. I think, "huh, that's really cool, I wish I could do that." But I never really thought why I couldn't. I just couldn't. And so now, I'm changing that. My limitations are only the ones that I set on myself.
I'm searching for a conference, not too long, maybe a day or two, that will still let me in at this late date. Hopefully, in So. Cal area. I'm even willing to go to Vegas or San Fran, but would like to keep within driving distance. Anybody know of something good?
Right Now:
What I'm listening to: Norah Jones " Those Sweet Words"
What I want most: More summer. I have too many things to do.
After locking myself in yesterday, and getting over the Muse's obligatory "But I don't wanna!" protests, I got a real chuckle out of the high school era poetry slush pile.
I'm tired of my own mental waffling. So I'm taking radical action. Today, I'm locking myself in the Oval Office and not coming out for at least 2 hours. That's right, locked in. No cell phone, no internet, no books, no connection to outside life. Just me, the computer... and the slush pile. (whimper. ye gods, I hate the slush pile. Please don't make me face the slush.... POETRY! I hate poetry slush even worse than prose slush. oh kill me now.)
So I think that weekend off was the best decision I've made in a while. I'm definitely making this a standard policy now. Sorry, but I really couldn't keep up with the daily posts. Even though it's now summer, I just need the weekend breaks.
Yay! InkyGirl Debbie Ridpath Ohi just gave permission to repost her work under the Creative Commons license! I'm so excited. I love her work. So I'm posting one here. Just because I can. Ehehehe.
First, I would like to announce the launch of my new blog, Bibliophilia & Me!!! I'm so excited for this. It's just a simple blog about all the books I'm reading, want to read, or am thinking about in any way. And it's definitely in a more casual tone than this blog is, and not set to the same strict schedule. I just wanted to create another forum in which I could discuss my obsession about books. And now I've established the beginnings of a blogging empire!!!!!!!
Today was not the best day for me, and I'm not in the mood to wax poetic on any literary subject, so just a short post on randomness.
Hi all.
Isn't it amazing that sometimes when your mind has 15 billion things going on, it actually can be more focused and more alert than if you have an entire day set aside for one project? Say you're a college student, with a test tomorrow, 2 midterms and 3 papers next week. You should be completely overwhelmed, stressed and frazzled beyond belief. But you're not because your mind somehow figured out a way to either compartmentalized the extraneous stuff or simply works just that much faster. Today I really have been on a roll about a few writing things- ideas, this blog, mood music, snippets, whatever. It's just been working and working away,and without me feeling guilty that I'm not focusing on my studying. It's like two parallel trains of thought, simultaneously running, and only every once in a while will the Muse knock on the door into Reason's study, politely mention a thought, then close the door again.
So tonight I am taking full advantage of the computer still being set to Pacific time. I had planned on writing this post before midnight, but my library time ran over what I expected. So since all my creativity has been juiced out for the academic world, forgive me for lacking the necessary wit to keep you entertained.
So because homework has exploded into my life, and I have no time to really think about a posting, I'm leaving you today with a few quotes from Virginia Woolf on the creative process and a few general links for writers.
... A continuation of yesterday's post, but with more detail, and more blather. Somehow I wound up doing yard work today, and didn't sit down to plan a post in my newly returned writing calender. Only now the guilt is riding me, saying "How can you fail at your New Year's resolutions on January 2nd?!?!?!" Darn all consciences anyways. But here I am, back sore and morale duly chastised, ready and reporting for duty. So! Writing Wish List:
1) Magazines. Yes I know I'm obsessed. AND I know I wrote on this yesterday, but bear with me. Going to college means losing the simplicity of having a single home base. Now there are two addresses. Which one do you send the important stuff too? Going to college across the country has made the problem irreconcilable. What happens in the winter? The long three months of summer? But sending magazines home isn't profitable either. So thus far I've resisted subscribing to my favorites, denial and self-discipline which is causing angtsy, rebellious pressure. You know, Newton's Third Law ..."equal and opposite reaction"? So it overflows here in the blog. (Sorry) But I also do consider magazines important, not just time or money wasters. Writers are supposed to reflect the world we live in, whether by direct represention or through metaphorical or mirroring techniques. And the world is not limited to my perceptions or my experiences, but the sum of all humanity. As a writer, it is almost a need, a duty, to seek out the new, the exotic, the strange, or just simply the unfamilar so that my world is balanced and completed. So magazines are a good, voyaristic way into other perceptions of the world. Or maybe I should have chosen the word obsessions- magazines give each of us a peek into the obsessions, the over-whelming love that another has. I will never be as interested in fashion or photography as a fashion editor or a famous photographer, but through a magazine, I can, for a period of time, understand that interest. And one day, if I am called to, I can take that, and make my character be a fashion editor or a famous photographer realistically. I always joke how writing lets me have multiple careers, but in truth, through writing, I can have multiple careers, multiple ways of life, multiple perspectives. I like to think of it as having fingers in multiple pies, whether it be fashion or travel or photography or architecture or politics or...
2) Better music to write to. Right now my iPod is a rampant mess, with music that I haven't touched in 5-6 years, and much that I hardly recall downloading. But what I really want is great mood music. That doesn't always mean sad or serious, but also great bouncy music as well- just music to suit every modd and enhance emotions when the subtle tone of a piece is barely grasped by the fingertips...
3) A single, organized, dedicated space that is singly and simply for writing. Nothing else. It will have all my materials there, and NO CLUTTER! I have a desk now, but I need a space for writing, not paying bills or answering letters or whatever else I seem to do with my time. The writing resource books all recommend something like this (come to think of it, all study tips including this as well, hmmmm) to enforce the mentality of being serious and working, but yeah.... I didn't do so well with the studying either hehehehehe.
4) Creating a porfolio. This isn't so much a wish list item but more of a to-do, but I would need to at least buy the portfolio part, so that's the half I'm wishing for. The stuff inside is another matter, and another post.
5) An external hard-drive, because I've lost all my notes once, and I'm NEVER doing that again. SO I fear putting anything on my computor, but that does seem to cut productivity in general as well, which is not the intended, or desired result.
There are more, but again, these are more to-do or personal goals, so I won't bore you or myself with pontificating on them. But I will write them down in my newly resotred calender, and maybe in fifty years a biographer will want to look it over. lol
Right now:
What I'm listening to: Kate Nash "Pumpkin Soup" (Which has nothing to do with Pumpkin Soup, so I'm a little confused...)
What I want most: Magazines, of course. Didn't we cover this?
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