Agonies of a Young Author

So what many of you don't know is that in the spring I was interviewed for a news article about my writing (and other, unimportant things, but we stick to writing here). It was never optioned/bought, so don't get excited.

Me? I'm not disappointed the article never ran. Or particularly surprised. Frankly, I'm even a little bit glad it didn't. Why?

The "reporter" who interviewed me was completely, scandalously unprofessional.

If I, the subject of your work, am not impressed, I doubt any editor is going to interested in your piece. Basic common sense, right?

At first, I was excited. Oh, shiny! I'm getting interviewed! But it soon devolved. The reporter had a huge lag time- weeks worth (and remember THEY contacted ME). Our first interaction is a brief email- no salutation, greeting, signature, punctuation, basic capitalization- but most horrendously....

This "professional" used "PLZ" and "THX!"

0_0

AS IF IT WAS TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE.

I'm sorry. Even if you're a 20-something, and I'm a 20-something, in a work capacity, SPELL OUT WORDS IN STANDARD ENGLISH.

Co-workers turned buddies?- check. Use all the abrevs you want.
Inner office email between said office buddies?- check. I doubt a client ever sees those.
Professional Twitter?- check. Necessary because of character count and oh so a la mode.
Texts?- check. See above "co-workers" (plus, Starbucks orders are just a hassle to type anyways)
A super hip writing blog- in balance, in context, with the right voice, and the right audience? Yeah, ABSOLUTELY!!

The first communication to establish a working relationship???

Oh, hells, no.

Actually, after that one email, I considered calling off the entire thing.

Two hours AFTER our scheduled appointment passed (a lunch meeting that just COULDN'T be interrupted) I was certain that a) this story would never sell, and b) I would never work with this reporter again.

The interview had good bones, but the story languishes.

Meanwhile, my obsessive butt is getting published! *evil twinkle* Anyone get a lesson outta that?

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: the new squeaky keyboard cover that got delivered today. It's almost typewriter-esque. I kinda like it.
What I want most: mmmm, some clothing from Urban Outfitters. And makeup from Sephora. Oh, and a pony.

WHY is it that readers/writers are automatically assumed to be an endless source of self-entertainment? The standard reply to any literary soul's occasional "I'm bored" is ALWAYS "Go read/write something."

Why? WHY?

Is it incomprehensible that sometimes we need a BREAK from words? We love 'em, sure, but 24/7 language can get as boring as your day job stuffing envelopes. Sometimes, other creative outlets are appreciated people!

Gahhhhhhhhh. Non-literary people stereotypes about us booky types.

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: Nothing at the moment.
What I want most: a mind break. Non-word related. No books. No writing. Gimme the mind fluff.

Another pet peeve of mine. Why do self-help writer's magazines and articles and bloggers ALWAYS assume that the freelance writer is a journalist?

I simply don't understand. Freelance BY definition is multiple venues, so how come the modus operandi has changed to be multiple non-fiction MARKETS?

No, I am not interested in breaking into a cat magazine when I have no cats. Yes, maybe some crazy dude is challenging himself to query his way through the entire Writer's Digest Freelance Market (true story, but I have lost the link. Sorry! Later edit to come) but I am still a freelancer, am I not? AM I NOT?

Wheeeeeeew, and deep breath.

Self-employed. Frequent changes between publishers. Creation of works first then the query. Sounds like me, right? RIGHT?

I AM FREELANCE TOO! GIVE US POETRY AND PROSE PEOPLE SOME LOVE TOO! IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT NON-FICTION.

And if you think otherwise, you are clearly more knowledgeable than me, so go ahead. Enlighten me. WHY SHOULDN'T THERE BE AN ARTICLE ON FREELANCING THE SMALL PRESSES? HUH? HUH?

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: Nuthin, calming down for bed (lol, we'll see how this goes)
What I want most: sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp!

I. AM. NOT. MADE. OF. STONE. DAMMIT.

I have never had a harder time pinning down a character in my life.

I sit down to write a scene- fine. My character comes out perfectly clear. I sit down to fill a character info sheet, one for class no less, and static. The scenario is a little like this:

Name?
Me: ... uh, her nickname is [retracted].
Hair Color?
Me: 0_0
Eye Color:
Me: Zomg.
Relationship with father?
Me: Does she have a father? (*fail*)

Also, get this. I can't picture the mother in this story-- so I have to go to the internet and print out a picture of some actress.

I hate relying on a picture. It limits me. I get stuck imagining the character with certain expressions and gestures, when that doesn't necessarily fit their personality. Argh.

And this stupid character bio is due tomorrow, isn't it? Oh, yes, yes it is.

It's gonna be a long night yo.

Right Now:
What I'm listening to: The Corrs "Spencil Hill"
What I want most: my Muse to kick in or something. Actress photos! Argh...