Agonies of a Young Author

Hello everyone! I know I haven't been updating much, but I am still alive and kicking. And actually working on stuff, despite the lack of blog dedication (or is that in spite? I never know.)

So I thought to name my projects, for my benefit and yours. Alright, more just to keep them straight in my own head, but you know. Credit me with a little bit more than self-serving posts.

First, the belovedly bemoaned D.o.C.A. This is a new genre for me, and the main focus of the last few months (since June). I have taken two writing classes (second in progress now) and have tried to work very hard on this project. It goes slow, but I am enjoying the genre and the experience. I also admit the major motivation for posting is also procrastination and avoidance of tonight's homework deadline, but let's ignore that part shall we?

And then That Damn Book, the torment over the past few YEARS that refuses to work out and refuses to die. This YA paranormal used to be my love, but I have under a thousand words and over a million headaches in relation to a few key plot problems, so I've trunked it for now.

And then The Sparkly Itch, the idea I had this morning that I might actually pursue. But more on that later.

But higher in priority is the Set Aside Spy Story (M.O.), which has a lot more planning and prep going for it. Also a new genre work, but one with potential, especially in comparison to my D.o.C.A. overexposure and slowly dying enthusiasm.

And the Really Near and Dear to My Heart project, the one I haven't even mentioned because I like to hold it close and hide it. So no more words on that.

Next, another new genre work, the Inner Scientist Idea, one with less planning but a ton of visuals. I want to pursue this one almost as bad as the Set-Aside Spy Story. It'll be a tough call, and I might sign up for a third class to help me develop it.

So now, when I say I'm starting the SD/YA novel project for NaNoWriMo as a creative break from D.o.C.A, ya'll know what I'm talkin bout right? Riiiiiiight?

What I mean by creative break is that I have focused so intently on D.o.C.A. that I have lost the sense of fun in writing it. I want it to be good, damn it, to be published, and I am constantly talking about it to others, getting feedback, revising, and then starting all over again. And it's a job. Hard, hard work, where I have to force myself to sit down, and with an over-reliance on deadlines to write at all. And that's not how it should be.

So I am starting SD/YA for a bit of creative relief- a fun project, with no objectives, no deadlines, no revision, and most of all, no expectations. I write it in a month? Fantastic. I don't- well I have the 5,000 or 3,000 or whatever I've managed to accomplish and that's enough. It's just FOR FUN.

So this list of projects is more to remind myself that my career is not make or break on D.o.C.A. I have a lot more options than one storyline, and that means a lot of opportunities to reach different people. I am not a one book wonder, and even if this particular project never makes it past the course final in a few weeks, that is not the end.

I define the story. Not the other way around. 

Something to remember.

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: a rarely heard Southern Californian rainfall
What I want most: aspirin

I was thinking- shocking I know- that I should rewrite my chapter one like a Steeplechase challenge. Completely redo the whole thing without referring to the original.

But I LIKE my chapter one, which is kinda why I have no chapter two. Which implies the lack of chapter three which means no chapter 30 which means no book deal which means no royalties or book advance party or hot limo rides down any strip of any kind.

I dunno about this whole novel business. It's a bit different from what I usually do, so I'm unsure of when to stop and when to move on and when to toss the whole fudging thing in the trash for the nourishment of dust bunnies.

Who am I kidding about being a novelist? I should stick short forms I can actually complete.

I try and trick myself into challenges like this rewriting gig to convince myself otherwise, but the excitement is long gone and the spark fizzled on a short fuze. Hard work is no substitute for training.

Right Now:
What I'm listening to: ADELE
What I want most: aspirin

So what many of you don't know is that in the spring I was interviewed for a news article about my writing (and other, unimportant things, but we stick to writing here). It was never optioned/bought, so don't get excited.

Me? I'm not disappointed the article never ran. Or particularly surprised. Frankly, I'm even a little bit glad it didn't. Why?

The "reporter" who interviewed me was completely, scandalously unprofessional.

If I, the subject of your work, am not impressed, I doubt any editor is going to interested in your piece. Basic common sense, right?

At first, I was excited. Oh, shiny! I'm getting interviewed! But it soon devolved. The reporter had a huge lag time- weeks worth (and remember THEY contacted ME). Our first interaction is a brief email- no salutation, greeting, signature, punctuation, basic capitalization- but most horrendously....

This "professional" used "PLZ" and "THX!"

0_0

AS IF IT WAS TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE.

I'm sorry. Even if you're a 20-something, and I'm a 20-something, in a work capacity, SPELL OUT WORDS IN STANDARD ENGLISH.

Co-workers turned buddies?- check. Use all the abrevs you want.
Inner office email between said office buddies?- check. I doubt a client ever sees those.
Professional Twitter?- check. Necessary because of character count and oh so a la mode.
Texts?- check. See above "co-workers" (plus, Starbucks orders are just a hassle to type anyways)
A super hip writing blog- in balance, in context, with the right voice, and the right audience? Yeah, ABSOLUTELY!!

The first communication to establish a working relationship???

Oh, hells, no.

Actually, after that one email, I considered calling off the entire thing.

Two hours AFTER our scheduled appointment passed (a lunch meeting that just COULDN'T be interrupted) I was certain that a) this story would never sell, and b) I would never work with this reporter again.

The interview had good bones, but the story languishes.

Meanwhile, my obsessive butt is getting published! *evil twinkle* Anyone get a lesson outta that?

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: the new squeaky keyboard cover that got delivered today. It's almost typewriter-esque. I kinda like it.
What I want most: mmmm, some clothing from Urban Outfitters. And makeup from Sephora. Oh, and a pony.

Last night, I wrote the letter that I want to receive as an author.

I finally took the time to express my very great thanks to an author that has profoundly influenced me. It was hard. Emotional. I had written the actual letter long ago but stuck in a drawer so I didn't have to deal with it. I didn't want to deal with it ever, really, but last night I was compelled. Or, rather, this morning at 2:00 am, because that's when all boogies and other impish promptings come out.

So I sent it. And I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. I'm crying now. But... I sent it. And I'm proud that this is another little step to becoming stronger. Better. Healed, healthy, and whole.

I am. Because I sent it.

Right now:
What I'm listening to: "Damaged" by Danity Kane (oh, Freud, what you would say about me now...)
What I want most: to finish midterms

I'm tired of my own mental waffling. So I'm taking radical action. Today, I'm locking myself in the Oval Office and not coming out for at least 2 hours. That's right, locked in. No cell phone, no internet, no books, no connection to outside life. Just me, the computer... and the slush pile. (whimper. ye gods, I hate the slush pile. Please don't make me face the slush.... POETRY! I hate poetry slush even worse than prose slush. oh kill me now.)