Agonies of a Young Author

Just expanding off of what was said yesterday, that when you are busy, your mind is busy, but free time gives you a lax mind. I am literally forcing myself to write tonight, and I am lacking an inspiring topics, though I have plenty that I could write on. 

So a few more housekeeping things. Remember to check back at my post on what writing everyday really means (to me), I'll keep revising it through this weekend. Also, I stumbled across another blog post on writing groups, this time by Lilith Saintcrow. I'll go back and edit in the link on the original post, but I put it here just for filler. =) 

Found a few new author blogs and websites (I really should be checking these on a regular basis, but never get around to it....) but I'm not putting any links up for a while, see how things go. 

Alright, no more stalling.

Today's topic is growing up aesthetically. I ran across what was the beginning, painful attempts at a blog on my website, and amused, I read them. Which, of course, made me even more amused to see the difference in perspective that even a year will do to my writing style and sense. On said "pre-blog", I wondered, rather wistfully tinged around the edges with envy, how writers came up with meaningful plots. At the time, I was still writing gratuitously, meaning solely for my own entertainment and without regard to the larger audience, although I know (theoretically) that one existed and should be taken into account when writing. My plot structures were simplistic, literally reduced to girl meets boy, falls in love, conflict drives them apart, they resolve conflict, happily ever after. End story. Polish and repeat. Every fantastic whim was indulged, and nothing was edited, cut out, or regarded as "too much". But my stories were lacking, and I could recognize that. Now I look back and see the pits in my logic. And I also see that where I was lacking, I've grown. Yes, I still write primarily for my own pleasure, and yes I write what I would like to read. But I also don't restrict myself by form, or genre, or prose style like I used to. I'm drawing on a much wider base to infuse my writing with meaning, and meaning for more than the 16-18 crowd. I'm taking authors beyond my normal reading group as influences. I'm reading far beyond my normal reading group to see what I like, and what I don't. I'm reading non-fiction and literary criticism. I'm interested in other people's stories. Basically, I'm EXPERIMENTING. Not because I don't know what my prose style is, or to find my "voice". But because I'm comfortable enough in myself as a writer to be able to branch out a little. And because I allow myself to take chances and risks, I grow. The ideas don't come magically from some "Genius Tree". To some degree, it does come from life, and from experience, and exposure, and time. But mostly it's the willingness to look beyond yourself. Self-centeredness is a stage that all children must outgrow to become adults, and that's true for writing as well as Polite Behavior. 

Right Now: 

What I'm listening to: oh, do I really have to write this? lol. "Circus" by Britney Spears. 

What I want most: Food. I'm hungry. =)