Agonies of a Young Author

1) Adopt a quirk. 
Like writing entirely in green crayon. Or  drinking.

2) Get up only in the evenings. 
No, you are not aping  the vampire lifestyle, but have manfully (or is that womanfully?) stayed up all night in a burst of Divine Inspiration.


3) Also, adopt the haggard look.
You are lost in the world of wonderful glorious words. You forget to eat. To sleep. Shower. Even if you do all these things, fake like you don't for credibility.

4) Avoid people.
Be a bitter cynical misanthropic disillusioned philosopher. Don't interact with the unenlightened except in cyberspace. Or your own head.

5) Hold conversations with yourself. 
You'll be lonely (See #4)

6) Post witty and/or sardonic updates to Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, the blog and other media sites.  Often. And refresh constantly. Like every 20 minutes because you don't want that upstart of a YA author to think SHE is more humorous than TOI.

7) Don't read anything other than Wikipedia. 
Wiki knows all. End.

8) Find a destressor. 
All this writing business is hard. Telling all your friends about the book you're going to write. Writing about the book you are going to write. Reading about ways to write your book. Take a break.... or a drink (you know, whatever works).


9) Live in an attic/garrett/ 700 sq. ft. studio apartment
When they said "bats in the bellfry" they meant that LITERALLY.

10) Be serious.
All the  time. Laughter is bad, and leads to serious injury,

Write Now:
What I'm listening to: the audio recording of Georgette Heyer's Venetia
What I want most: chocolate. in multiple forms. yummmmmm