Tuesday, April 12

Query Letter

Posted by Shelly Holder


Dear 

John Smith

Mr. Editor Sir

Dear Sir,

I would be happy if             I would be pleased if you            It would give me great pleasure             DEAR GOD JUST PUBLISH ME             I am grateful for this opportunity             miserable nerve-wracking gut-wretching week of nausea             I look forward to working with you             you better publish me or I will spam your inbox         I will be your bestest friend forever if you can just get me on Oprah             actually my mother's cousin twice removed, his daughter's best friend's boyfriend knows you so we're like related and you should publish me I will invite you to Thanksgiving             I have been published previously             don't look this up I wrote it for a handwritten middle school publication I founded myself             Again thank you for this chance            opportunity            PUBLISH ME OR I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT AND I WILL HAUNT YOU LIKE THE GHOST OF AUTHORS PAST

Affectionly,

Sincere Regards,

Sincerely, 

me

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