Friday, September 18

Juggling Swords

Posted by Shelly Holder

As a necessary by-product of doing a lot of really interesting activities comes the over-whelming sense of being ... well, overwhelmed. Sometimes everyone needs a moment to just sit down and think- to organize their thoughts outside of a planner or calender, to organize those thoughts like goals and ambitions that do not translate well into a simple check list.

So I removed myself today, removed myself utterly from my dorm room, from campus, and ventured away from all pressures associated in any way with school- whether it's homework, or extracurricular, or even school social events like the game night I should be attending right now (no worries, I'll go later.) I needed to physically remove myself from the mental hustle to sit down and just think- to organize my bookmarks, to read through the blogs that I follow, to check out the myriad websites that I found during the week but couldn't read, to follow up on correspondence... each and everything that will take me away from the mentality of "student" to "writer." I can be a writer during the summer, and during the breaks, and sometimes I even achieve "writer" on the weekends, but rarely, rarely do I go through the day as a writer. The mentality is all wrong, there isn't enough time to indulge myself, and by the time I have a spare moment to take a breath in the few minutes before I collapse into bed, I have no neurons left functioning enough to be able to truly write.

Sometimes, I really mourn the days that I am a "student."

I'm trying this semester to infuse my live with more writing, and writing on a regular basis- whether it's this blog, or Wordsworth Station (for even thinking of prompts makes me want to write their response), or with critINK (my writing group on campus) or with a writing class. I'm searching for fast turn-over contests, whether on a weekly or monthly basis. And I'm succeeding at all this, I am. I'm just... not quite there yet. Where "there" is, I don't really know myself, but I feel that it's possible. Possible with one more blog, or one more contest, or one more writing activity. Possible. But not quite there yet- a "there" where writing is not a hobby or a side interest, where writing isn't a passion or an addiction but a way of life. To a "there" where people can walk by me and recognize "Oh, she's a writer."

Then, then, I have made it.

Right Now:
Wht I'm listening to: Whatever weird thing Barnes and Nobles is playing on the sound system.
What I want most: A nap


Lena said...

you know there are days when i feel i can make it to the point where people will recognize me and say "oh, she is a writer".. but more often there are days when I feel it will always remain just a passion pr a hobby. In these moments it is very important that right people are beside you and dont let you stay discouraged.