I decided to take a study break, to escape from the depression of realizing that I-really-and- truly know-nothing-about-this-subject. I thought to read my new copy of Poets and Writers magazine, to motivate me to write, to help me remember why I suffer through college and finals. But I entered into a whole new kind of depression. The article I read was on agents, and the effects of the economy on publishing. This is what caught my eye:
Sunday, May 10Posted by Shelly Holder
P&W: Where are you finding writers, aside from referrals? Are you reading literary magazines? Are you reading blogs?
MASSIE: No blogs.
RUTMAN: Not for fiction.
STEIN: Hell no.
Me: ... shit.
I realize that maybe a blog is not always the best way to go, sometimes getting too mixed up with the personal over professional. I've wondered if I have cheapened this blog by adding the "Right Now" sections at the bottom, or in the choice of the color schemes, etc. (I catch myself using poor grammar and internet language, as well as the icons far too often for my own comfort; but I have decided that expression of my personality is more important in the cost:benefit ratio). And I also realize that these agents represent literary authors, while I am still deciding on genre and style. Goodness, I'm barely producing seriously, whether finished pieces or blog posts. However, that doesn't mean I don't take my job seriously, or that I am wanting to be author for those intangible status stereotypes. I want to WRITE. To create. To be an artist, molding and sculpting and painting with words. Yet, writing is also a job. There are other aspects than some sort of mystic commune with the Muse. I know that. Which means that I want to train myself to become the most marketable figure I can be. And I thought that the blogs were a way to achieve that level of professionalism. Reading that article really scares me. I've felt so proud of my recent accomplishments, from creating my writing calender but a few months ago to establishing my Bibliophilia and Me blog just a few weeks ago to my summer position under a creative writing professor here at campus. All of these actions are opening up my world, and are benefitting me. I know that. I can quantify it in my mind. But this article threatens to steal away my few successes.
I won't let them. I'm blogging away, and proud of it!
What I'm listening to: "So What?" by Pink
What I want most: To be taken seriously.