Agonies of a Young Author

And definitely check out her website www.inkygirl.com for other great works like these! 

I'm really tired tonight. I had a Beledi (bellydancing) performance today, and I admit I am fair wiped out. I'm not much in the way of topics, but my papers have eased up (I finished last week's Monday, Thursday and Friday papers, got an extension on the other Friday paper to next Friday, and so have this coming Tuesday and Fridays papers left) so I felt guilty in not writing at least something.

But don't expect much. 

I entered in Lilith Saintcrow's contest to win a signed advance copy of her new book, Strange Angels (and I have been obsessing about getting a signed copy of one of her works. I'm thinking maybe I'll ask for one...maybe) and incidentally read her post. I became inspired to write a little tonight. I have issues with what my friends and family would expect me to write. I know that my tastes are very different from theirs, and so I worry. A lot. A lot, a lot. Sometimes I think that if only the pressure to write the correct thing disappeared, I would write so much more. Sometimes now I don't write at all unless I know it would be accepted. The others, the ones I love and care for, just exist in small scraps of paper or in my mind. And that's a horrible, horrible way to exist. I should write something tonight, and it should be on whatever I want to write. At the very least, I'll transcribe my scribbles from my phone, (which is dying on me, stupid thing) to my computer before I lose them altogether, or enlarge some of those ideas that I've abandoned because of "acceptability."

I did not enter in the writing contest that was my latest goal. The deadline was today, but with the papers and finals coming up, I really just couldn't. I'm sad that I missed the deadline however. I wish that I had more time to write, but isn't that always what people say? I don't want to fall into a trap of saying that since I'm a student I don't have the time to write, and guiltlessy go on my way. I should feel guilty. People write with families and full time jobs and other crazy responsibilities. I should find the time to write. I just have seemed to balance everything out yet... sigh. 

Anyways, that's all for today. To use Lilith Saintcrow's phrase, "over and out." 

Right Now:

What I'm listening to: Drunken girls in the hallway, Oh, Saturday nights on a college campus. 

What I want most: to remove my stage makeup. I still haven;t done that. Ew.