Thursday, November 13

Contemplation

Posted by Shelly Holder

Hmmmmmm. In my pursuit of daily routine I didn't consider two very important things. 1) If I write a post around 2 am in the morning, which day does it count for? and 2) What happens on holidays?

Well yesterday I decided that a holiday for the banks and school and postman meant a holiday for me, and I cheerfully ignored my computer the whole of yesterday. Besides, I had a very trite topic idea that mentioned my laughable attempt at Veteran's Day poetry that somehow involved seagulls, and felt the world was, for once, better off if I didn't open my big mouth. Hopefully today's topic is slightly better. (No guarantees)

Well, in my enthusiasm about a new hair style and an extravagant hand with the eye makeup, set to the background of Katy Perry's song "Hot N Cold", I took it all too seriously and fell into my fantasy world of actually being a musician, with a trendy punkish style, a rocker attitude, and a gift for music. Then I actually sat down at the piano, and my dreams fell into shattered bits at my feet. I think my problem was that in imagining myself a musician for those few minutes, my overzealous creative side actually took the rest of me for a ride. I've always like the idea of being a songwriter, but never really managed the music half of it. The elaborate outfit allowed me to look past that little fact, much to my later embarrassment.

Well am I going with this anecdote? Well, although sometimes writing doesn't have the same visceral thrill as other jobs, being many times passive and isolating in nature without the immediate feedback or stimulation from co-workers, it does have the benefit of being utterly limitless. With reading, I can pretend to be a musician, for a poem's ten minutes or a novel's ten days. With writing, I can pretend to be a musician for the ten months of research, the second ten months of writing, and the third of revision and (hopefully) publication. But I'm not tied to music, or to medicine, or law, or politics or whatever else I choose to include in my works. I control the research- how much, how in-depth, for how long. With an official career in any of those other fields, I would have to obtain schooling, basic experience..... The investments would not equal the (ultimately) limited interest I have in that area. With writing, I can change jobs at a whim, maintain three at a time, or just coast with whatever inspires me. Writing is limitless. Writing IS the ultimate job, because it is all others, and none at all.