Friday, January 22

Newest Journalist in Town... Maybe

Posted by Shelly Holder

So I thought I would post my second sample column, just so I don't have to write anymore. The brain is broken after it's unfamiliar stretching in journalist clothes. Enjoy!

Miss Holder's Foreign Language Translating Program

We all know that William and Mary has a peculiar... culture that sometimes go beyond the rest of the world's expectations. In fact, sometimes those traits go so far that we need a translator--or foreign language experience-- to actually understand them.

In my research I found these listed as the top ten New Year's resolutions. Wouldn't it be interesting to look at them in William and Mary speak?

10) Reduce stress

Translated: I need to write my ten page papers earlier than the week- or night- before.

9) Help others

Translated: I need to go on an international volunteer trip over winter, volunteer locally over spring, tutor kids during the week and walk dogs on the weekends.

8) Take a trip

Translated: I want to study abroad next year. And next, next year. And possibly the year after. After I come back from that vacation in Italy.

7) Find a hobby

Translated: D & D no longer counts in this "adult" world. I need to think of something else to say at parties.

6) Find love

Translated: When the four G's --greek, geek, gay, or girlfriend-- applies to the dating scene on campus, maybe I should expand my search area. To the greater East Coast.

5) Give up a habit (drinking, smoking, etc)

Translated: I should invest in real orange juice, instead of the Wawa facsimile. And convince my apartment roommate that incense is NOT an acceptable alternative to showers.

4) Get out of debt

Translated: I really need to pay my parking tickets. All five of them. And my IT bill.

3) Eat healthier

Translated: Maybe I should add a salad to my spaghetti and garlic bread with a side of fries and/or corn.

2) Get organized

Translated: I should maybe be able to find my textbooks in the pile under my bed. Or maybe they're in the closet... maybe...

1) Workout

Translated: I should get up from my desk at least three times a day. For more than just class. Or bathroom breaks.

So what did YOU resolve this year????

Shelly Holder is the newest Confusion Corner columnist. She is not admitting to her New Year's resolutions, m